Emotional Intelligence or EQ is the talk of the world today and many believe that emotional Intelligence is more important than Intelligence quotient or IQ. Why is it so? While IQ is related to analytical, logical, reasoning and memory related abilities, Emotional intelligence is about how they manage their emotions and their state of mind to get better results even in emotionally challenging situations. Emotional Intelligence is not just managing our emotions, it also helps in managing the emotions of people around us.
Generally in difficult situations, we tend to get into the fight or flight mode automatically. To manage overwhelming situations we can practice the NLP technique of Stop, Drop and Process or simply SDP. Mentioned below are the list of things that make us emotionally intelligent:
1. CHECK YOUR EMOTIONS,THEY CHANGE YOUR WORLD
“Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.”
Emotionally Intelligent people watch their thoughts, feelings and emotions. They know that feelings like ripples in water can change their world. Emotional self awareness is very important to keep our thoughts, emotions and in turn our life in control. They neither ignore nor do they let their emotions go haywire. Though they might sometime use more of their heart over brain, they have a deep understanding of their feelings and are also sensitive to the feelings of people around them.
2. PAY ATTENTION TO OTHER PEOPLE’S FEELINGS
“Respect people’s feelings. Even if doesn’t mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them.”
Emotionally Intelligent people are more empathetic, meaning they get into the other person’s shoes to understand how other people feel. They are good listeners and have healthy open relationships. They are good with recognizing even those feelings which are not very obvious. They are also good at understanding the needs and viewpoints of others and resolve situations accordingly.
3. CONTROL THEIR EMOTIONS
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.”
Emotionally Intelligent people are in full control of their emotions and don’t get carried away by what others feel or say. They have a positive attitude under all circumstances which helps them to look at things in a different light. They celebrate life even when they know they are alone. They, hence, bounce back quickly from negative emotions and situations.
4. DON’T PLAY VICTIM
“No person playing victim ever changed the world.”
Emotionally intelligent people are highly aware of their feelings and don’t blame others or situations for what is happening in their lives. They understand that they can always take charge of their emotions and also their life. They don’t like to constantly complain about their feelings and situations. They instead plan better outcomes by staying focussed and redirecting their energy into more positive thoughts. They take full responsibility of whatever happens in their life.
5. STAY HUNGRY
“Work hard and stay hungry, lazy people get nowhere in life.”
Becoming complacent hinders growth and Emotionally intelligent people not only achieve their goals, they also keep setting new goals. They are self-motivated individuals who work past their fears and leave footprints in the sand. They believe in themselves and always welcome change. They know that success awaits when we go out of our comfort zone. They constantly drive themselves to newer pastures to lead a more exciting life.
6. IDENTIFY THE ROOT-CAUSE OF EMOTIONS
“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and come forth later in uglier ways.”
Emotionally intelligent people know that it’s very important to express our emotions and understand why they feel a certain way. They try to understand if there are any past references that are hindering their growth and work towards resolving old conflicts. This emotional self awareness helps them in finding the best approach to any given situation.
7. CHOOSE THEIR OWN BATTLES
“Be selective in your battles, sometimes peace is better than being right.”
Emotionally intelligent people know that emotions carry energy and it’s wise to pick our battles selectively. They don’t pick on every brick thrown at them. They respond to situations rather than reacting to it. They avoid heated arguments with people unless there isn’t a way out. Conflicts generally drain our energy so they preserve their energy for more constructive and positive outcomes and situations.
8. STOP GOSSIPING
“If it’s not your business, Don’t spread it”
Emotionally intelligent people don’t get into gossip. They understand that nothing relevant comes out of gossip and more often it does more harm than good to people. They prefer having more constructive, positive and deeper conversation with people. They value the time they spend with people and believe in quality time instead of quantity time. They encourage people to have more meaningful discussions and closer connections.
9. SET CLEAR LIMITS
“Givers need to set limits, because takers rarely do.”
Emotionally intelligent people know that they can do everything for people all the time. They understand that we all have our limitations and so cannot address everything according to people’s expectations. So when people ask for any favours the answer is either a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. Maybe is never an answer to any questions put to them. When they agree to do something they make sure they keep up to their word.
10. DON’T GIVE UP ON ACCOUNT OF PEER PRESSURE
Emotionally intelligent people believe in themselves. They believe in leaving a trail in a place there was none. So they don’t do things just because someone told them do. They are not in the race to please people. They never try to follow suit and instead think independently. They have a headstrong attitude, and often go against the grain. Though they listen respectfully to other people’s opinions, they don’t get carried away by them. They carefully analyze the pros and cons of every situation and get to a solution. They believe more in self-approval rather than peer pressure.
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